Jonathan Flaks Coaching

This week we are going over the Game Plan Worksheet, which is one of the tools I have in my coaching toolbox.   I usually reserve access to those resources for clients only, but since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I decided to share a little extra love and offer you access today.   Go to www.jfcoach.com/toolbox and download or print the “Game Plan Worksheet” and then come back  here and listen to the 5 minute audio I recorded to guide you.   Contact me if you have questions about how to use this tool to organize and motivate yourself.  I’d love for you to win big as you pursue your next challenging project!

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.

I’ll tell you a story about my teenager, who was having trouble waking up for Sunday school this weekend. He kept saying, “I don’t have the energy, I don’t have the energy.” So, myself and his mom, we’re trying hard to see how we can help him—we’re being kind, we’re being warm, we’re offering him breakfast…nothing is working. Finally we’re like, OK, we’re going to count to ten, and if you don’t get up and get in the shower, we’re going to take away your iPod.

He found the energy.

The main thing this story illustrates is the interesting fact that even when you think you’re running low on energy—if not completely drained—you never really “lose” energy at all.  Sometimes, though, you lose access to your energy, and you need to know how to reignite that inner fuel.  

Luckily, since it won’t really work to take your own iPod away, there are three basic steps to doing this for yourself:

First, when you feel that your energy and motivation is not what it could be…stop and identify that. Get present with the fact that the energy is just not there.

Second, identify what is draining or blocking your energy. At this point, it’s a good time to put pen to paper so you can get some added perspective. Ask yourself (and write down the answers to) questions like this, as they relate to a particular goal:

Is there some area where I am physically losing energy—diet, exercise, sleep?

• What is operating inefficiently?
• What is taking up too much time and preventing me from moving forward?
• Do I have an attitude toward my goal, my work, or myself that is negative and getting in the way of my achievement? (See last week’s blog post about this problem in particular.)

You’ll end up with a list (try to limit it to the top three to deal with right away). You’ll probably know your biggest energy drains by the way they fall naturally under the heading: “THIS BUGS THE CRAP OUT OF ME.”

Got your list?

Third, take each energy drain and decide if you’re going to make a change and do something about it, or if your decision is to embrace that “sucker” and change your attitude and mindset about it (i.e., decide that you can live with it).  Also make sure to decide a TIMEFRAME – a “by when” you’ll take action to change the situation or create a new mindset to sustainably embrace it.  

As it turns out, it wasn’t that my son didn’t have energy in the first place to get up out of bed, but that he didn’t have the motivation (the potential loss of his iPod). Plus, when we talked about it later, we found out that he had an energy drain: He didn’t like the recent Sunday School classes. (He still had to attend, so he had to go the “embrace and change your attitude” route.)

This is someone whose “goal” of getting to Sunday School wasn’t, to be honest, all that personally valuable to him.  Still, the three steps worked to help him access his energy again—his willingness to do what he had to do.

Think about what could happen if you use these steps to remove the energy drains that stand between you and your most desired goal.

 I’ll bet that very quickly, you’ll start to see amazing new progress toward that goal. And—although I usually promise solid results rather than miracles—I’d be willing to predict that you might even get out of bed faster every morning, ready, willing and eager to “get up and go.”

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.

Remember Stewart Smalley—the motivational speaker character played by Al Franken on Saturday Night Live who would say to himself in the mirror, “I’m smart enough…I’m good enough…and gosh darn it, people like me!”?

The truth of the joke—the reason it still resonates today—is how sometimes, being “positive” can bring up the opposite in thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Look how Smalley’s platitudes, completely at odds with his loser-ish demeanor, only perpetuated his chronic insecurity!

That’s because there’s a difference between “positive” thinking (also called affirmations) and what I call Powerful Thinking.

Powerful Thinking begins with making sure your thoughts, beliefs and words all align with what’s really present—what IS. Sometimes, what IS, is the fact that you are NOT feeling positive. And that thought/feeling (and perhaps the belief behind that thought/feeling) has to be acknowledged and processed in order to clear the way for a truly positive mindset.

Otherwise we’re just fooling ourselves with “Smalley-isms.”

Powerful Thinking—sometimes—starts off sounding like:

“I’m really feeling out of it today.”
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“I’m scared that I won’t succeed.”

Once these negative thoughts or feelings are acknowledged as simply thoughts or feelings in the present reality, it’s time to use your thoughts to reframe what’s present into what’s possible.

To recap: first you say what’s present—being really honest with yourself. Then, acknowledging that these are useful thoughts and feelings (in order to get present) you then invite yourself to wonder:

 What’s possible, what could change—what’s next?

What’s another way of looking at the situation that would be empowering?

What’s a way to look at the steps I’ve taken as progress, whether they’ve achieved or haven’t achieved the goals I’ve set so far?

 If you can shift your perception of what has been, and what is now, to be able to truthfully say things like:

Every day I’m getting a little better at this…
This setback taught me…
This was a small/medium/big step toward this goal…

You’ll be using Powerful Thinking for positive, astounding results.

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.

In today’s Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, we talked about the 3 Keys to Doubling Your Income. I did elaborate more about this on my monthly telecoaching call last week. Listen to the short version – it’s very exciting!

This Thursday, as part of my monthly tele-seminar series, I’ll be sharing some new things I’ve learned about how to have your Income Double with Half the Trouble, even during the toughest of times.

Please visit (and forward this link to your friends) www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc to be notified of instructions for this and future no-cost tele-coaching tele-seminars.

In honor of today’s celebration of Martin Luther King Jr’s Birthday, here are some insights on progress, leadership and work. I invite you to take a new look at these elements in your professional or personal life so that you create new possibilities for fulfilling YOUR dreams!

Progress
Have you ever noticed when you cross off things on your “to-do” list, there are always new things that have come up? King said, “All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.” This important wisdom reminds us to never give up on our dreams.

Leadership
Martin Luther King, Jr. was a tremendous leader, and he communicate in every which way from gently, to massively and ferociously. His words… “A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” How about you? What consensus do you have to commit more deeply to to creating in order to fulfill your dreams?

Finally, something about work.
“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”

Whatever it is that you do or aspire to do, dig in deep and believe in the greatest possibilities that you can dream up. Then set your goals and plans accordingly and never give up!

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.

The old year switches to the new in one clear-cut “click” of a moment, and it’s almost like you can make that big change you’ve always wanted to make, too—just as easily as flipping the calendar page.  

However, resolutions, with their virtuous allure, have been accompanied by a bad reputation for just…well…not happening. One dismal statistic says that less than half (46%) of New Year’s resolutions are maintained after six months.

It’s too bad, because there’s a lot of power in beginning something, as in the famous quote by the German poet Goethe: "What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

As it happens, though, in order for the initial power of newness to turn into effective, sustained action and lasting change, there need to be a few more elements in the resolution mix besides setting a “Day One.”

According to Steve Martin, author of “How to Keep Those New Year’s Resolutions” in the Harvard Business Review, “Men are some 22% more likely to achieve their goals if they set specific objectives and write them down. Women are 10% more likely to achieve their goals if they go public and share them with their family and friends. Perhaps the optimal approach, though, is to do both things.”

Specific goals, written down, and shared with others, plus a powerful Day One in 2012. Now, that’s a good start.

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3

Happy Holidays.   Before I sign off for the rest of the year (I’ll blog again in January),

I wanted to share something with you.

I have gotten a terrific response to my Bold Goal Setting Program so I'm making it available again as a follow up recording…

Here's the audio recording as an MP3 you can download: 
click here for the MP3

If you just want the audio on your computer,
click here for streaming

Here's the link to the handouts:
www.jfcoach.com/goals-handouts

As a small courtesy in return, please sign up, please visit (and forward this link to your friends) www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc to be notified of future no-cost tele-coaching tele-seminars.

Thank you, and best wishes for success in ALL areas of your life during 2012 and beyond.

Happy Holidays! ‘Tis the Season to set Bold Goals…NOW.

2011 has been a tough time of ups and down, pretty darn challenging for most people. But most of my clients are up 20%, 30%, even 40% from last year, despite an epically
bad financial climate. How in the world did they do this?

They set Bold Goals…Here’s what I mean:

Bold Goals are quantum leaps of faith that uncover new resources, relationships and power sources that impel you to achieve new heights with greater ease. Bold
Goals aren’t generalized wishes or “resolutions”—they are highly specific and personal to you.  

When you’ve got the right Bold Goals, you know it, because they produce a natural high — a  consistent sense o f inspiration and self-motivation.  They also help you navigate the year with a “play to win” attitude, which yields something I call “productive fun.”  (I’m told that I’ve coined a phrase.)

NOW, December 2011: Hook into the season’s spirit of hope, abundance and fun to supercharge your goal-setting.  “Wrap up” 2011 with visions of everything you want for success in 2012.   Register for my free goal-setting program by phone.  No charge – it’s my holiday gift to you.

Bold Goal Setting for 2012
Dates and Times:  Tuesday, December 13th at 8 PM
and/or Thursday December 15th at noon EST
By phone… register at www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc for instructions

When you go to www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc and sign up for my free monthly telecoaching series, you’ll get all the instructions to dial in, plus a free gift from me - just like this one - every month.

Enjoy these effortless “tweaks” in mindset that are instantly--even as you read this note -- creating a more prosperous, successful outlook for you.

Here’s a powerful working definition of the word love, which will give you access to the greatest power on the earth. (Next week we’ll distinguish the difference between power and force. Love doesn’t always overcome force.)

Love = acceptance + support – i.e. accepting a person (or situation) for exactly how they are (it is)… and supporting a change where there is a commitment from that person to make a change.

Copy these questions somewhere so you can apply some active thinking:

How have you rejected others and/or yourself recently – and noticed a lack of that “loving feeling.”

How have you supported or insisted upon a change when the person was pretty set on not changing.

No love, right?

(you might think, “tough-love,” but that is a different story…)

This morning, my teenage son left for school late (again) – I told him his being late has an impact, and his mother was seriously frustrated (again). He told me to “F” off. If you have teenagers, I’m hoping this makes you laugh and feel a little better that this happens even in the household of a coach. J If you have younger kids, and you’re afraid it will happen to you – don’t worry – you won’t have to take it personally. I’m just supporting a few changes where, at the moment, there is NO commitment – in fact, he’s quite committed to the theory that being to school on time means 10 minutes late, according to his agreement with his teacher.

How have you accepted others and felt as much love as they did?

How have you accepted yourself and let others support you in pursuing your greatest dreams?

My younger son wanted to “learn and earn” this weekend, and I let him help me with a “real-play” recruiting process I’ve been developing (see www.jfcoach.com/hiring ) ... It was so much fun, and we both felt great about working through the challenges and questions together and coming up with a terrific result. I treated him as my intellectual equal, and that’s how he performed. And it will be remembered as one of those bonding experiences we’ll never forget.

If I can do this with teenage sons - and trust me…they think I’m a dork – than anything is possible in business – when love is applied.

Let me know what opens up for you upon pondering these questions… Don’t just read them today and forget about them. Allow yourself to copy and paste them so you can print them and ponder them.