Jonathan Flaks Coaching

The old year switches to the new in one clear-cut “click” of a moment, and it’s almost like you can make that big change you’ve always wanted to make, too—just as easily as flipping the calendar page.  

However, resolutions, with their virtuous allure, have been accompanied by a bad reputation for just…well…not happening. One dismal statistic says that less than half (46%) of New Year’s resolutions are maintained after six months.

It’s too bad, because there’s a lot of power in beginning something, as in the famous quote by the German poet Goethe: "What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

As it happens, though, in order for the initial power of newness to turn into effective, sustained action and lasting change, there need to be a few more elements in the resolution mix besides setting a “Day One.”

According to Steve Martin, author of “How to Keep Those New Year’s Resolutions” in the Harvard Business Review, “Men are some 22% more likely to achieve their goals if they set specific objectives and write them down. Women are 10% more likely to achieve their goals if they go public and share them with their family and friends. Perhaps the optimal approach, though, is to do both things.”

Specific goals, written down, and shared with others, plus a powerful Day One in 2012. Now, that’s a good start.

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3

Happy Holidays.   Before I sign off for the rest of the year (I’ll blog again in January),

I wanted to share something with you.

I have gotten a terrific response to my Bold Goal Setting Program so I'm making it available again as a follow up recording…

Here's the audio recording as an MP3 you can download: 
click here for the MP3

If you just want the audio on your computer,
click here for streaming

Here's the link to the handouts:
www.jfcoach.com/goals-handouts

As a small courtesy in return, please sign up, please visit (and forward this link to your friends) www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc to be notified of future no-cost tele-coaching tele-seminars.

Thank you, and best wishes for success in ALL areas of your life during 2012 and beyond.

Happy Holidays! ‘Tis the Season to set Bold Goals…NOW.

2011 has been a tough time of ups and down, pretty darn challenging for most people. But most of my clients are up 20%, 30%, even 40% from last year, despite an epically
bad financial climate. How in the world did they do this?

They set Bold Goals…Here’s what I mean:

Bold Goals are quantum leaps of faith that uncover new resources, relationships and power sources that impel you to achieve new heights with greater ease. Bold
Goals aren’t generalized wishes or “resolutions”—they are highly specific and personal to you.  

When you’ve got the right Bold Goals, you know it, because they produce a natural high — a  consistent sense o f inspiration and self-motivation.  They also help you navigate the year with a “play to win” attitude, which yields something I call “productive fun.”  (I’m told that I’ve coined a phrase.)

NOW, December 2011: Hook into the season’s spirit of hope, abundance and fun to supercharge your goal-setting.  “Wrap up” 2011 with visions of everything you want for success in 2012.   Register for my free goal-setting program by phone.  No charge – it’s my holiday gift to you.

Bold Goal Setting for 2012
Dates and Times:  Tuesday, December 13th at 8 PM
and/or Thursday December 15th at noon EST
By phone… register at www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc for instructions

When you go to www.jfcoach.com/monthly-tc and sign up for my free monthly telecoaching series, you’ll get all the instructions to dial in, plus a free gift from me - just like this one - every month.

Enjoy these effortless “tweaks” in mindset that are instantly--even as you read this note -- creating a more prosperous, successful outlook for you.

Here’s a powerful working definition of the word love, which will give you access to the greatest power on the earth. (Next week we’ll distinguish the difference between power and force. Love doesn’t always overcome force.)

Love = acceptance + support – i.e. accepting a person (or situation) for exactly how they are (it is)… and supporting a change where there is a commitment from that person to make a change.

Copy these questions somewhere so you can apply some active thinking:

How have you rejected others and/or yourself recently – and noticed a lack of that “loving feeling.”

How have you supported or insisted upon a change when the person was pretty set on not changing.

No love, right?

(you might think, “tough-love,” but that is a different story…)

This morning, my teenage son left for school late (again) – I told him his being late has an impact, and his mother was seriously frustrated (again). He told me to “F” off. If you have teenagers, I’m hoping this makes you laugh and feel a little better that this happens even in the household of a coach. J If you have younger kids, and you’re afraid it will happen to you – don’t worry – you won’t have to take it personally. I’m just supporting a few changes where, at the moment, there is NO commitment – in fact, he’s quite committed to the theory that being to school on time means 10 minutes late, according to his agreement with his teacher.

How have you accepted others and felt as much love as they did?

How have you accepted yourself and let others support you in pursuing your greatest dreams?

My younger son wanted to “learn and earn” this weekend, and I let him help me with a “real-play” recruiting process I’ve been developing (see www.jfcoach.com/hiring ) ... It was so much fun, and we both felt great about working through the challenges and questions together and coming up with a terrific result. I treated him as my intellectual equal, and that’s how he performed. And it will be remembered as one of those bonding experiences we’ll never forget.

If I can do this with teenage sons - and trust me…they think I’m a dork – than anything is possible in business – when love is applied.

Let me know what opens up for you upon pondering these questions… Don’t just read them today and forget about them. Allow yourself to copy and paste them so you can print them and ponder them.

Anytime you are feeling a sense of “stuckness,” it might be that you’re in a state of indecision.   Indecision is draining, while being in a “decision making process” is empowering.

There are three steps to a decision making process that you can use when making any big decision.   Then you can always consider yourself “decisive!”

1. Set the timeline.
2. Organize all the information you can gather,
   • Pros and Cons
   • SWOT analysis
   • “Fork In The Road” cost
   • Feelings
   • Advice and feedback
3. Go to your “confident thinking” place to make the decision one day before the “deadline,” and if you don’t throw up or break out in hives, be courageous and go with your decision.  

Most of the time, making the “right” decision isn’t what leads to success – it’s making decisions and honoring your commitments to have them work out successfully.

Listen here for more, including an example of a major decision that followed this process.

Happy Halloween,

As I explored in depth during a recent Monthly Teleseminar, Fear, Courage and Confidence are closely related.

Fear is a belief that something bad will happen, something that threatens our survival.   Most often, Fear is “False – Evidence – Appearing – Real”

Sometimes people procrastinate from making that important call or tackling that important project, actually holding back due to a fear of success.  Is there something that might come with success or the pursuit of success that you’d rather avoid?   Is there something you need to be more prepared to handle?  In that case, sometimes fear is a “treat” – preventing us from getting ahead of ourselves and reminding us to prepare or develop further before taking a risk.  But don’t let it stop you – get busy with the preparation and development and then keep moving towards your goal.

Other times, people fear failure -  that if we put ourselves out there, we will risk getting hurt, getting embarrassed and, all too often, being too harsh and judgmental of ourselves.  Don’t let that stop you.   Take the risks that you can learn and grow from – if you fail at reaching a particular outcome, use the experience to better prepare for the next courageous attempt, and if you succeed, celebrate moving closer to your goals!

What will you take on this week – a challenge you will pursue with courage – that will move you closer to the success you deserve?

Listen here for more encouragement.

This weekend I went to an Air Show with my band, “Kick Start Charlie” and one of the attractions was an amazingly courageous woman named Jane Wicker. Jane is an accomplished “wing-walker” as well as a aerobatic pilot, competitor and budget analyst for the FAA. She’s a great example of someone who follows her passion, and does so with great courage. If you weren’t on my teleseminar last Thursday, you can listen here to some of the insights I shared regarding "FEAR, COURAGE and CONFIDENCE." (28 min)

If Jane can hang from the wing of a bi-plane with no parachute, you can probably do whatever you’ve been dreaming of. If you just need some encouragement, check out the videos at www.janewicker.com.

And listen here if you’d like to catch the Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Session from Monday.

In honor of Steve Jobs’ passing, I offer you three rounds of questions to stimulate some different thinking. These questions require some dedicated “thinking time,” perhaps in a quiet place or wherever you do your best thinking, in order to make a real, positive difference.

1. How can you think differently than you have been thinking before? What is a situation, challenge or goal that you are struggling with? Are you not totally fired up or performing masterfully in that area? Perhaps you are interpreting yourself, the world around you or something in a way that is disempowering. Well, you made up that interpretation or at least have decided to agree with it. What else might be true as an interpretation that empowers you? Who can help you think up a new way of framing the situation so you can knock it out of the park?
2. How can you think differently than everyone else? You already know that people resist change, but if you have ideas that will lead to change for the better, they will be different than what many people already think is “good enough.” How do you convince them that “good enough” may be for now, but may not be going forward? How is the new way a better way and worth sacrificing the status quo? What can you do to communicate your ideas that are revolutionary, so that people get on board and support your dream? Think… Think THINK!! And get other thinkers to help you - you don’t have to go it alone.
3. How will you think differently that will make a difference? How can you be “checking in” and testing your theories so that your thinking and actions do indeed create a positive impact? All of the questions in this post are offered for the purpose of making a difference. They might be challenging, thought provoking questions, but probably no harder to deal with than the simple question of survival. So go for thriving and striving to make a difference, and enjoy every day!

Please comment or send me a note – I’d love to know how this made a difference for you.

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.

I'm saddened, as most people I’m hearing from, about Steve Jobs’ passing. I imagine the same is true around you, too?

Here’s something inspiring to share and save to honor his spirit and, of course, to learn from since we’re both lifelong learners. J

http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2011/09/19/the-top-ten-lessons-s...

I was on a hike with my sister-in-law and the subject of summer-school came up. I remember that I enjoyed the sciences well enough to take Chemistry in high-school over the summer as a way of getting ahead. Reflecting on chemistry and about the world at a distance, the idea came to me that we are like molecules and atoms on this planet.

Some of our connections and bonds are strong and can withstand heat and other forces. My wife and I, for example, just celebrated our 20th anniversary together, and we’re still going strong!

Sometime when molecules come together, they create energy, and sometimes when they come together, they drain energy. You remember “endothermic” and “exothermic” reactions – the same is true of interactions between people.

So as we’re making our way through life and through the sea of atoms and molecules known as other people, especially in business, we must remember that some relationships will automatically feel like there is good “chemistry” and some relationships won’t. There is always an abundance of people to strike up relationships with, so don’t get hung up if some relationships are easy, some require energy, and others just aren’t worth the hassle to try to keep them stuck together. Some people just repel others, and that’s OK – do what you can to move on and find a better fit.

And if you can’t easily separate from someone because of commitments or family connections, then you may simply need to reserve a little extra energy to provide acceptance and understanding.

Above all, always stay fascinated in the process and the miracle of being human. Enjoy!

To listen to this week's Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meeting, click play or download mp3.